The World (aka America) at War (Again)

The first item of business this fine Friday evening is to finish up about the Great Depression documentaries us HotA kids made, so here we go.

So, Franklin D. Roosevelt (also known as Roosevelt the lesser) was trying to save America. When along came this dude, former senator of Louisiana, Huey Long, apparently a great orator and at one time the third most photographed man in America. Huey was all "Hey America, listen to my slightly Communist plan to get us out of the Depression." And FDR was all "OMG, this is 'the most dangerous man in America!'" Long was eventually killed in 1935 but, as a bit of consolation, because he had more bodyguards than the president, the guy who allegedly shot him (some stories say he was punched) was immediately shot with around 60 bullets. Long died in hospital two days later.

Dust Bowl: massive clouds of dust over the mid-west, not, as someone said, "massive clowns all over the east coast," that would've been much worse.

What I learned about the presidency: Worst President ever = Herbert Hoover (save for William Henry Harrison who died, 32 days after his inauguration, of pneumonia after an hour 3/4 long address in the rain... and don't forget his successor John Tyler, who was always vetoing everything, who's whole cabinet resigned except for his Secretary of State). What I learned about Prohibition: Mr. G's puns: "Al Capone, not Al-cohol, right?" Class: *Sighs*

---

Everyone knows that the best way to get a person out of a depression is chocolate and therapy; but the best way to get a country out of a depression is to start a war. It worked for Germany - what, twice?


An advertisement for war bonds by Dr. Seuss. A complete collection of his War-time cartoons may be found in the book "Dr. Seuss Goes to War" or here.

So Hitler was coming to power and the Nazis were starting to take over Europe. British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain went "Uh-oh. I better have a talk with this guy." So he goes and gets Hitler to sign the Munich Pact. But, if history ever taught anyone anything:

Treaty of Versailles: "Now Germany, you kind of made the world go to war, so we're taking away all your land, military, and financial assets."
Germany: "Okay, we'll be a good Weimar."

Chamberlain: "Now Hitler, give back Czechoslovakia."
Hitler: "Okay, okay." (Inner thought: But he didn't say anything about Poland. Bwa-ha-ha.)

---


This is somebody's interpretation of the "political spectrum," basically showing how America is the opposite of Nazi Germany. Notice how, even on the "U.S." side of the spectrum, "liberals" and "conservatives" are exact opposites. I figure that anarchy goes under the "radicals" label.

---

Because it's a hot topic, I have decided to end the debate once and for all:

Charlie Chaplin's moustache came before Hitler's.

First appearing in "Kid Auto Races at Venice" (1914) Chaplin's toothbrush was the original and greater of the two moustaches. Let it be known that Hitler was not on the record as having such a moustache until well into the 1920's. Photographical evidence from his serving in WWI helps to prove this. Therefore, Hitler copied Chaplin (even going so far as to be born four days after him in the same year), and Charlie was justified to the max in taking back his title of greatest bearer of the moustache in the 1940 film "The Great Dictator."

---

And now, for some propaganda:



1942 Jimmy Stewart Air Fortce Recruiting Propaganda! (Part 1 and 2)





~Curran O'Donoghue

Great Depression? Or Grape Depression?

"Mr. G, you totally need to do some fireside chats. You know, get a YouTube channel, teach history in a more effective manner; one that your students could pause or fast-forward or whatever. But more importantly, you need a teaching style with badly translated subtitles."

Think how much more enjoyable the lesson would be were it to be in, say, Spanish.

"La lección de hoy a ser de instruir a todos en los asuntos de la gran depresión, el presidente Franklin Delano Roosevelt, y el acuerdo de la novedad. Ahora, es de interés con señalar que en Nueva York, FDR era gobernador, después de muchos años después en los pasos de su pariente ilegítima, la de Theodore Roosevelt. Ser dice que es uno de los más grandes del presidente, a pesar de su deterioro general de la región por ser de las piernas por el factor de la poliomielitis, Roosevelt, el menor no era el mejor de los presidentes, a pesar de que dio a la América que el acuerdo de la novedad."

The Fireside Chats, unfortunately, were not what I originally thought they'd be. I pictured FDR in a comfy chair by the fireplace. Maybe a pipe in his mouth and a dog at his feet. In fact, the president's chats were specifically a series of 30 radio addresses (transcripts of which can be found here), though he did appear a number of times on television discussing similar issues of national interest. (After FDR started giving regular updates to the people, it became the fashionable thing for successive presidents to do.)

Classes this week focused on FDR, the New Deal, and other fun aspects of the Great Depression. But why have somebody who went to college give the lesson? Why not get TEENAGERS to do it?

"Everybody gets a topic and everybody must give a 3-7 minute presentation! But guess what? You get to record SOUND! And make your very own DOCUMENTARIES! You get to use a fancy program that would be marginally better than PowerPoint. What's that? Why did I stress the would be? Because most of the air traffic controller headphones I got from Newegg don't work with the library computers." Too bad for about half the class.

Not that I made the greatest attempt in the world ever to put the (eventually PowerPoint) "Grapes of Wrath" presentation together. However, my partner did. Most of the time we were in the library I was talking to myself and anyone within earshot about how much I hate computers when you need to get things done because they sense it and have an automatic fail switch inside that makes them stop working right when you need them most and I used to have some headphones like these but mine weren't as comfortable and hey how much were those Skullcandy headphones and why not noise-cancelling headphones but seriously did you know that Theodore Roosevelt was the Governor of New York and then FDR was later the Governor of New York and it's totally a conspiracy and they were actually related and were probably masons too -

"Hey, Curran?"
"Yeah?"
"We're not gonna get this finished to-day. I can stay and work on it if you want."

And to-morrow and to-morrow and to-morrow...

Until the very last moment when we had a slide show and presented the narration live. And we all know what happens when that happens.

Here's the script I read with Bob Dylan's "The Times They Are A-Changin" playing in the background:



Umm, yeah... I missed a few important parts, like what the Dust Bowl was and why it was important to the story.

Fun Facts: Theodore Roosevelt had a Square Deal and FDR had a New Deal; the title "The Grapes of Wrath" is a reference to the second line of the song "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" by Julia Ward Howe" (which is a reference to Revelation 14:19); and John Steinbeck looked just like Ian McKellen.



Franklin Delano Roosevelt's Fire-less Fireside Chat About the Economic Recovery Plan (1933)



~Curran O'Donoghue

Uganda and the Stock Market Crash

On March 18 a group of filmmakers came to Cleveland mainly to speak about child soldiers, but their message seemed to turn toward raising funds more for the educating of free, yet underprivileged Ugandan youth than the rescue of those children still soldiers. Days before, all the History classes in the school (I'm led to believe) were made to watch the documentary Invisible Children. Originally made in 2003, the makers came to the school with an "update" film to fill in some gaps from those years in-between. Most important to everyone in the auditorium that day was Jacob, the 19 year-old former child soldier brought to the States from Uganda who's studying to be a lawyer.

Truly an experience. There are many things going on in the world of which the other parts of the world have no idea (for example, the Rwanda Tribunal that's still going on). That's why we have history class, not the internet, because if we leave kids alone with the internet, they play video games and Facebook each other. This is a fairly good way to keep an entire society in a bubble. Virtual social networking can only take you so far, and then you need a history teacher.

The official Invisible Children site has, as a main feature, a blog contributed to by all sorts of people with subjects from the Lord's Resistance Army to Haiti (yeah, still having issues over there) and this article I found about a 17 year-old Ugandan King, crowned at three, who wears a crown made from a lion's skin. Badass, fo' sho'. Apparently, according to the post, Uganda has four kings who each rule over their own little part of the country. President Yoweri Kaguta Museveni doesn't seem to mind, but I guess the kings don't have that much power (though the article attributes 2 million people to be under the rule of this 17 year-old king named Oyo). Also, says the article, Oyo "bobs his head to rapper Jay-Z, plays video games and reads the 'Twilight' vampire books." Take that as you may.




So anyway, to current events. Yesterday and to-day's class have been devoted to the STOCK MARKET CRASH of Black Tuesday, October 29, 1929 (which Mr. G erroneously gave as "October 14th 1929, or something"). Lesson learned: the only way to avoid losing money in a market crash is to hide your money under your bed. Or bury your money in the backyard. Or even better, hide your money under your bed and then bury the bed in the backyard. Works every time.

Here's the thing about the Stock Market Crash, and (spoiler alert) a build-up to WWII: a bunch of countries were affected, not just the U.S. (like Germany). Mr. G likened the way people were buying their stocks "on the margin" to Monopoly money. Of course, 'Monopoly money' would more accurately describe what the Germans would be doing with their money in the near future, as shown in this cartoon and this photo. The money was less than worthless. It was unusable paper. Not like Monopoly money, which can be made into sarcastic clothing.

Mr. G's quote of the day: "Well, let me get history hip-hop to do this part of the lesson for me."

Movie to watch regarding people freaking out about their money and bankrupting a company: 1946's It's a Wonderful Life with Jimmy Stewart. There's this scene, maybe it's on YouTube, go find it.

And the clip we watched in HotA with BEN STEIN:



~Curran O'Donoghue

The Roaring Twenties

Last Friday, April 2, us students of Mr. G's History of the Americas class (HotA) were privy to a test. It was what one might call a Ridiculous Test on the 1920s and constituents therein (Marcus Garvey, the KKK, Flappers, etc.).
I propose that more than a fair share of the questions on the test were opinion-based, and so could not have ever been answered wrongly. For example, with a question like:

"What invention of the 1920s was most responsible for expanding and spreading a U.S. cultural identity?

A) The automobile
B) The toaster
C) The radio
D) None of the above"

What are you supposed to do? The Model T was released in 1908, the "first commercially successful electric toaster" was patented in 1909, and everyone knows Tesla (according to a supreme court case) invented the radio in 1894. Because Tesla was Serbian and a toaster isn't doing much to advertise itself, I submit that the automobile, invented by Henry Ford, one of the most American men ever, was the invention most responsible for expanding and spreading a U.S. cultural identity.

Homework: Watch these films about life in the 1920s.

-- The Untouchables (1987) with Kevin Costner and SEAN CONNERY. About the FBI taking down Al Capone with charges of tax evasion.

-- Inherit the Wind (1960) with Spencer Tracy and Gene Kelly. About the 1925 Scopes "Monkey Trial" and why it's okay to be a "temporary Honorary Colonel" when arguing law against your esteemed colleague (because you're Spencer Tracy and you're awesome like that).

and

-- Call the White House to lodge your complaints and offer your constructive criticism @ (202)-456-1111 or visit them online.

~Curran O'Donoghue