The Coldest of the Wars (Except for the Patriotic War of 1812, which was Napoleon's invasion of Russia)

“Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Communist Party?” – HUAC trial


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Key Terms

-Cold War: A war the US would've been fighting against Russia, if they didn't have the bomb. Arguably spanned from just after WWII until the 1989 Malta Summit) when the Americans and Russians made peace to fight a war together against Iraq.

-The bomb: Any of a variety of uranium, plutonium, and hydrogen weapons developed by the US and stolen by everybody else from the lab in Los Alamos.

-Fidel Castro: The thorn in the US's other side who also had The Bomb (from the Russians).

-Proxy War: Getting somebody else to do the dirty work, with the intention of you not getting caught.

-Presidents during the Cold War: Dwight D. Eisenhower, John F. Kennedy, Lyndon B. Johnson, Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George H. W. Bush.

-House Un-American Activities Committee (not the "House of Un-American Activities Committee", that doesn't make sense): Committee of the House of Representatives for finding Communists!

-Joseph McCarthy: Communist Hunter. Misconception: Joseph McCarthy, being a Senator, was not a part of this committee. He was with the Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations, part of the Committee on Government Operations (now the Committee on Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs).
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Of the musicians/comedians who ever lived, Tom Lehrer is one of the greatest.


Mr. Lehrer made a household name of himself with such popular tunes as “Poisoning Pigeons in the Park,” “The Elements,” and “The Masochism Tango.” But is he given as much credit as is due to him for his commentaries on topics of his day? Famous in the 1960’s, Tom Lehrer immortalized all the important stuff about the Cold War in popular song form. On Werner von Braun: a song of the same title. On Nuclear Proliferation: “Who’s Next?” On World War III: “So Long, Mom.” On the nuclear end of the world: “We Will All Go Together When We Go.” Armed with a piano and a degree in mathematics, he set out to make fun of the world. And we love him for it.
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Whenever people cite the Los Alamos Laboratory as the place where Russia got the plans for The Bomb, it shouldn't come as such a surprise that they were able to get away with it. The lab was positively flooded with spies.

The only reason it took so long to develop the device was because, at the time, most of the people working there were spies. I have a theory that there was probably just one lone scientist actually working for the US, and the rest were spies, working like Frank Abagnale.

"Doctor, what do you think of this arrangement of the equations? Have we accounted for a great enough error?"
"I concur."

We never suspected a thing.
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Okay, so I was reading “Born in Blood and Fire” for HotA and I come across this: “Aside from petty harassment by the CIA—Involving such escapades as an exploding cigar and schemes to make Fidel’s beard fall out—the military threat from the United States had ended” (Chasteen 269). Seriously, guys? No wonder the Soviets got The Bomb from us – our best strategists are sitting around watching cartoons, looking for ways to get our enemies out of the way. But now I want to see this movie: http://www.638waystokillcastro.com/about.asp. If anyone has it, let me know.

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Mr. G explains the concept of a proxy force to the class:

“Well, let’s say I want to attack Henry here. I don’t want to do it directly because then it’ll be obvious that Mr. G is attacking students. So, let’s say I give David a bat and after school I tell him I’ll teach him some karate moves.” Proxy force.
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Charlie Chaplin was a communist. Everybody knows that, right? Nowhere is this fact more apparent than in his 1957 film “A King in New York.” Oh ha, that Charlie Chaplin. He’s being a king! In New York! Hilarious! And he’s convicted of being a Communist! Ha-wait, what? That’s right. First he’s consorting with this Communist kid, and then he’s on trial. Go see this movie.
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Dr. Strangelove. See it. Enough said.
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And as for classroom politics, my attempt at the gaining of Senior Class president with my co-candidate Sammy Trumbo-Gomes has been thwarted once again by a run-off election. I trust, my friends, that you know what to do, come Monday. Just remember our speech and your hearts will guide you to democratic peace and prosperity:


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And remember to Ask Teddy: Send your democratic queries to askteddyroosevelt@gmail.com


~Curran O'Donoghue

The World (aka America) at War (Again)

The first item of business this fine Friday evening is to finish up about the Great Depression documentaries us HotA kids made, so here we go.

So, Franklin D. Roosevelt (also known as Roosevelt the lesser) was trying to save America. When along came this dude, former senator of Louisiana, Huey Long, apparently a great orator and at one time the third most photographed man in America. Huey was all "Hey America, listen to my slightly Communist plan to get us out of the Depression." And FDR was all "OMG, this is 'the most dangerous man in America!'" Long was eventually killed in 1935 but, as a bit of consolation, because he had more bodyguards than the president, the guy who allegedly shot him (some stories say he was punched) was immediately shot with around 60 bullets. Long died in hospital two days later.

Dust Bowl: massive clouds of dust over the mid-west, not, as someone said, "massive clowns all over the east coast," that would've been much worse.

What I learned about the presidency: Worst President ever = Herbert Hoover (save for William Henry Harrison who died, 32 days after his inauguration, of pneumonia after an hour 3/4 long address in the rain... and don't forget his successor John Tyler, who was always vetoing everything, who's whole cabinet resigned except for his Secretary of State). What I learned about Prohibition: Mr. G's puns: "Al Capone, not Al-cohol, right?" Class: *Sighs*

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Everyone knows that the best way to get a person out of a depression is chocolate and therapy; but the best way to get a country out of a depression is to start a war. It worked for Germany - what, twice?


An advertisement for war bonds by Dr. Seuss. A complete collection of his War-time cartoons may be found in the book "Dr. Seuss Goes to War" or here.

So Hitler was coming to power and the Nazis were starting to take over Europe. British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain went "Uh-oh. I better have a talk with this guy." So he goes and gets Hitler to sign the Munich Pact. But, if history ever taught anyone anything:

Treaty of Versailles: "Now Germany, you kind of made the world go to war, so we're taking away all your land, military, and financial assets."
Germany: "Okay, we'll be a good Weimar."

Chamberlain: "Now Hitler, give back Czechoslovakia."
Hitler: "Okay, okay." (Inner thought: But he didn't say anything about Poland. Bwa-ha-ha.)

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This is somebody's interpretation of the "political spectrum," basically showing how America is the opposite of Nazi Germany. Notice how, even on the "U.S." side of the spectrum, "liberals" and "conservatives" are exact opposites. I figure that anarchy goes under the "radicals" label.

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Because it's a hot topic, I have decided to end the debate once and for all:

Charlie Chaplin's moustache came before Hitler's.

First appearing in "Kid Auto Races at Venice" (1914) Chaplin's toothbrush was the original and greater of the two moustaches. Let it be known that Hitler was not on the record as having such a moustache until well into the 1920's. Photographical evidence from his serving in WWI helps to prove this. Therefore, Hitler copied Chaplin (even going so far as to be born four days after him in the same year), and Charlie was justified to the max in taking back his title of greatest bearer of the moustache in the 1940 film "The Great Dictator."

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And now, for some propaganda:



1942 Jimmy Stewart Air Fortce Recruiting Propaganda! (Part 1 and 2)





~Curran O'Donoghue

Great Depression? Or Grape Depression?

"Mr. G, you totally need to do some fireside chats. You know, get a YouTube channel, teach history in a more effective manner; one that your students could pause or fast-forward or whatever. But more importantly, you need a teaching style with badly translated subtitles."

Think how much more enjoyable the lesson would be were it to be in, say, Spanish.

"La lección de hoy a ser de instruir a todos en los asuntos de la gran depresión, el presidente Franklin Delano Roosevelt, y el acuerdo de la novedad. Ahora, es de interés con señalar que en Nueva York, FDR era gobernador, después de muchos años después en los pasos de su pariente ilegítima, la de Theodore Roosevelt. Ser dice que es uno de los más grandes del presidente, a pesar de su deterioro general de la región por ser de las piernas por el factor de la poliomielitis, Roosevelt, el menor no era el mejor de los presidentes, a pesar de que dio a la América que el acuerdo de la novedad."

The Fireside Chats, unfortunately, were not what I originally thought they'd be. I pictured FDR in a comfy chair by the fireplace. Maybe a pipe in his mouth and a dog at his feet. In fact, the president's chats were specifically a series of 30 radio addresses (transcripts of which can be found here), though he did appear a number of times on television discussing similar issues of national interest. (After FDR started giving regular updates to the people, it became the fashionable thing for successive presidents to do.)

Classes this week focused on FDR, the New Deal, and other fun aspects of the Great Depression. But why have somebody who went to college give the lesson? Why not get TEENAGERS to do it?

"Everybody gets a topic and everybody must give a 3-7 minute presentation! But guess what? You get to record SOUND! And make your very own DOCUMENTARIES! You get to use a fancy program that would be marginally better than PowerPoint. What's that? Why did I stress the would be? Because most of the air traffic controller headphones I got from Newegg don't work with the library computers." Too bad for about half the class.

Not that I made the greatest attempt in the world ever to put the (eventually PowerPoint) "Grapes of Wrath" presentation together. However, my partner did. Most of the time we were in the library I was talking to myself and anyone within earshot about how much I hate computers when you need to get things done because they sense it and have an automatic fail switch inside that makes them stop working right when you need them most and I used to have some headphones like these but mine weren't as comfortable and hey how much were those Skullcandy headphones and why not noise-cancelling headphones but seriously did you know that Theodore Roosevelt was the Governor of New York and then FDR was later the Governor of New York and it's totally a conspiracy and they were actually related and were probably masons too -

"Hey, Curran?"
"Yeah?"
"We're not gonna get this finished to-day. I can stay and work on it if you want."

And to-morrow and to-morrow and to-morrow...

Until the very last moment when we had a slide show and presented the narration live. And we all know what happens when that happens.

Here's the script I read with Bob Dylan's "The Times They Are A-Changin" playing in the background:



Umm, yeah... I missed a few important parts, like what the Dust Bowl was and why it was important to the story.

Fun Facts: Theodore Roosevelt had a Square Deal and FDR had a New Deal; the title "The Grapes of Wrath" is a reference to the second line of the song "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" by Julia Ward Howe" (which is a reference to Revelation 14:19); and John Steinbeck looked just like Ian McKellen.



Franklin Delano Roosevelt's Fire-less Fireside Chat About the Economic Recovery Plan (1933)



~Curran O'Donoghue