Sometimes we all wish we had a James Dean to lead us to a happy ending or a John Hughes to write one for us. Fortunately, I am both. If you make friends with me, we'll both feel popular!
The purpose of this final entry for HotA 2009-2010 is mostly clean-up from things I never got around to using earlier, in addition to adding May and June material.
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The final for HotA was easier than I suspected, as compared to, say, my math final (notes for which appear below).
I think it would generally be detrimental to a student if they were allowed to use notes on a history test because there would be way too many to be efficient. But don't take my word for it, take a unit circle with you to history next time and see how helpful it is.
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I don't doodle much in class, as I'm usually really really intent on hearing what the teacher has to say so I can make fun of it later on the internet, but there've been occasions when I didn't do my homework or didn't have an opinion on a topic. I felt ashamed and bowed my head to my desk. Not wanting to be seen, I kept my eyes on my paper and made it look like I was doing something. Something epic.
June 2010
June 14, 2010
March 8, 2010
Undated
And sometimes, the doodles were legitimate assignments.
Sometimes more legitimate than real assignments.
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And who can forget all the amazing poetic stylings we had in the class? If you bust mad rhymes well enough, you don't actually have to know what you're talking about.
May 14, 2010
"Arbenz: The Communist"
Jacobo Arbenz, do the means justify the ends?
Hey man, why ain't you one of the United States' friends?
Lookin' through rose-coloured lenses
Where our Mercedes Benzes at?
You think it's cool bein' a Communist?
Well we all know what rhymes with Communist.
Poor system of government leader
And a Communist.
But shouldn't you question
We'll teach you a lesson
About bein' a Communist.
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Prologue to the next one: we had to write a speech from some perspective, about some aspect of the American Revolution. I was tired of writing amazing speeches, so I used the twenty minutes of prep time to write a sonnet instead. I stood on a chair and suddenly farmers, Romans, and countrymen were lending me their ears. That was, of course, when I realized I had what it takes to be a politician... two centuries ago.
October 14, 2009
"Revolution '76"
Yon Redcoats, they do burn our villages,
Yea, and do eat our crops and our children.
We must be quick to stop the pillages,
Catch them unawares and bewilderin'.
A sovereign nation is what is wanted,
Also, free passage for our trading ships
Else find our pockets room'd to be haunted.
Tax not a boat when through our water slips.
Quarter no soldiers, be wisen'd to this.
Start a revolution, live like a king.
Our success will be a hit, theirs will miss
And freedom for all's a sure-fire thing.
So expel the British, in conclusion,
Liberty or death won't be delusion!
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The last part of the year was devoted to studying the Civil Rights movement.
Prompt: Martin Luther King and Malcolm X are discussing their views somewhere. Write a script.
June 8, 2010
"MLK, Malcolm X dialogue" (Co-written with Jordan)
Setting: In an ice cream shop
Malcolm X: Martin, do you prefer the chocolate or the vanilla?
Martin Luther King, Jr.: Actually, I prefer to have them both in the same cone.
X: Chocolate ain't gonna take none your puttin' it down. Chocolate will rise up and get its own cone.
MLK: You know, I had this dream one time. There was a swirling of chocolate and vanilla into one integrated flavour.
X: Chocolate vanilla swirl! That's Madness! Surely chocolate would begin insurrection against the vanilla: with peanuts and marshmallows.
MLK: If the two flavours were to work together, they would realize that chocolate and vanilla are better together, untrammeled by individual containers, able to reach a greater potential.
X (turning to the counter): I'll have the chocolate.
MLK (also turning): I'll have a scoop of each.
The end
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You can tell how relevant the story of Civil Rights is by the great number of ethnicities represented at Cleveland. It's like, "We have Angles and Saxons!"
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I will now turn the blog over to former president of the United States, Mr. Theodore Roosevelt.
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ASK TEDDY
Hello and good afternoon America. It's often a sad thought I have when I look at the world today and the world during my presidency. Why, in those days, if you wanted something done, you did it! So here I am to enlighten the world with my advice.
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Dear Teddy,
With all of the hullabaloo about Iran, what with nuclear problems and the general unrest in the Middle East, I ask:
What would you do?
Adrian M.
TR: Well, my lad, back in my day we called it "Persia" and nuclear problems were something you went to the doctor about. But I think what you want to know is how to cope with fear. As my illegitimate nephew Franklin Delano would say "the only think we have to fear is fear itself." The war in the Near East isn't something everybody can fight, but everyone can start helping at home. Do your part to help your community and strengthen the moral resolve in everyone around you. In the end, the problem will be solved with some good old fashioned horse-back justice by Americans like you and me. Good foreign policy doesn't involve diplomats, it involves well-armed soldiers and fast steeds.
***
Henry C. writes,
I heard you were a terrible president, why did you suck so bad?
TR: Well wise-guy, I'll have you know I wasn't so bad in my heyday. I was the youngest president ever at age 42 and during my presidency I ask you how many wars were fought on our shores? None. I was in office for two terms, so I must've been liked by some people. I gave America a Square Deal when I stopped allowing trusts, defeating 44 of them during my time. America is a place where everyone should be able to make an honest living, so long as he's of a decent family. I instated a corollary to the Monroe Doctrine which let our boys go in and save the drowning countries we saw fit. In 1907 I signed Oklahoma in as the 46th state. And let's not forget all the FDA work that was done with the Pure Food and Drug Act in 1906, etc.
So, I hope you'll tell all your friends what you learned this day about one of the greatest presidents in our nation's history, if I might say so.
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Dear Teddy,
Let me first ask, how are you? The United States hasn't heard from you in a while. Where have you been?
Everything has been going swimmingly here. Anyway, I would like to ask a few questions.
1) What's your favorite color?
2) Why have you been gone so long?
3) What do you think of the U.S.'s rivalry with the Soviet Union during the Cold War period?
4) What do you think of Sandra Bullock's situation? (her husband Jesse James cheated on her.) What should she do?
Any response would be greatly appreciated!
Cordially,
Grant R.
TR: Things are just fine where I am: the ol' white house in the sky! I box in the mornings with old friends, read a book in the afternoon, and write letters in the evening. Couldn't ask for a better retirement.
My favourite colour is Alice Blue. I liked the colour so much, in fact, I named my first daughter Alice.
I've been gone to give somebody else a chance, just like when I chose not to run for a second reelection.
You have to hand it to the Russians for their literature, at least. Their history is just as long and exciting as ours, so it's reasonable to think that they would get jealous. Everybody always wants better tools to do the job, and that's understandable. What matters is that the United States is in control. Everybody can be friends, but we get the nice toys.
When we were growing up, our parents would tell us about the outlaws in the Old West. We thought they were pretty exciting, criminals though they were. Jesse James was at the top of the list of great villains, but if I recall correctly, he was married to someone else! Not a Sandra at all! Her name was Zerelda Mimms, so I think Mr. James better watch himself, rather than worry about Ms. Bullock! As William Congreve said "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned / Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."
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If you were a potato, would you rather be boiled or mashed?
Jaimie H.
TR: No self-respecting man would ever be a mashed potato! If it were up to me, I would rather be a well-educated potato any day.
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Thank you for all of your queries, I hope I have been able to shed some light on your curious minds.
--TR
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Thank you Mr. Roosevelt. Well, I think that's about all I got for the rest of the summer on this ol' blog. Be sure to vote on the poll at the bottom of the page and check back next year for IB History Part 2: The Final Part!
Post Script: One more reminder of how history can be awesome: "Rock Me Amadeus" by Falco.
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